Today I woke up with the help of my husband at 5:30 am because it was the feeding time of our first baby, whom I gave birth to 2 months ago. I like waking up early in the morning because it helps me with feeling energized the whole day. However, I do not usually wake up early unless I absolutely had to. Since I knew my husband woke up for the feeding at 2 am, I knew I did not have any choice.
After I had him, I always felt energized and happy. Almost to the point of being too happy to be able to sleep, which led to my being hospitalized later on. I did not realize how important it was for a new mom to sleep so that she gains back her old self. So I did not know I could be depressed too.
I felt energized enough that I took this feeling of elation/exhilaration for granted. So for the past week, I felt down and sad for no apparent reason. I felt helpless, as if it was Sunday and on Monday I have a very difficult exam I had not prepared for or even a job I disliked.
It felt so difficult to smile or even think positively; it was scary. It felt as though I had lost myself. After I had my child, I have started thinking about future projects. Prior to the birth I used to be someone who never had any future plans or even dreams. But now I have two dreams, but more of that later on. Anyway, since it was too hard to focus on positivity and happiness, I forgot my future dreams and that made me feel even worse. As though I was having an impossible dream. So I asked myself what had changed recently.
Thus, I reflected on what was making me feel good. My mother is here to help me for the child for 6 months. It is best to have family support during this time. Since she’s here, I plan to take advantage of the situation and focus on what makes me feel happy.
Here’s the things that usually help me feel better that does not involve caring for my newborn:
- Wake up early – morning energy is best
- Eat what I like – homemade comfort food
- Do yoga – my 20 minutes yoga sequence (including 3 sun salutations)
- Meditate (connect to the Source) right after yoga
- Think positively: remember I am so lucky my mother is here to help me
- Drink my green tea – no wonder zen buddhists are after all calm and well, zen
- Of course, write – so therapeutic for me
And I plan to color my therapeutic zen coloring papers. I know it helped me before so I am sure it will help again. Also, smile when I talk with others, even if I do not feel like it. I know it will help send happy signals to the brain.
In general, following a routine and doing things that are healthy but forcing myself into doing them – such as flossing before going to bed also has been very beneficial to me in the past. I will see but I shall fight this down feeling with the same force it has come to me. It’s true good shall overcome the not so good 🙂